Your Person, Part 3 - Why You Keep Attracting the Wrong Person—It’s About You, Not Them.
“Relationships are mirrors, not magic wands—your self-love determines what shows up.”
“Relationships are mirrors, not magic wands—your self-love determines what shows up.”
Relationships are hard—messy, magical, confusing, and sometimes frustrating—but they often hold up a mirror to the most important relationship you have: the one with yourself. Yesterday we explored how your person is a declaration of what you think you deserve. Today, we go deeper: your person reflects how well you treat yourself, how you honor your own needs, and how you love yourself daily. Think about it like this: if you constantly skip your own self-care, settle for less than you need, or let negative self-talk run the show, the people you attract often mirror that imbalance. It’s like expecting a plant to flourish in a cracked pot—it’s not the plant’s fault; the foundation just isn’t solid.
Here’s a relatable example: if you’re someone who shows up late to your own appointments, cancels plans with yourself, or brushes off your own feelings, you might notice that your partner mirrors that inconsistency, forgetting promises, showing up half-present, or not fully valuing your time. On the flip side, when you honor yourself—sleeping well, setting boundaries, speaking kindly to yourself, and following through on your commitments—your relationships tend to reflect that stability. Your person starts to treat you the way you’ve learned to treat yourself, like someone worthy of respect, care, and consistency. In short, the relationship you have with yourself sets the blueprint for every other connection in your life.
So today’s life hack is this: before you look to your person to meet your emotional needs, strengthen the relationship with yourself. Invest in your own joy, respect your boundaries, and show yourself the love you seek from others. Because when you cultivate self-trust, self-compassion, and self-respect, your person will naturally align with that energy. Relationships are mirrors, not magic wands. And the better you get at loving yourself, the better your reflection in others becomes—turning the complicated dance of love into a partnership that feels like growth, peace, and genuine alignment.
Be Positive, and have an amazing day.
